bundesliga back tomorrow btw
why would you even say those things to me like aren’t you happy already with making me feel miserable every single day????
I’ve already answered 5, so I’m going to do 6 instead because I’m bored and I need excuses to avoid studying :* hope it’s not a problem :*
It was probably my 18th birthday. It was so fucking awful, and I was so alone, so so so alone. And don’t get me wrong, I love spending my birthdays alone and calm, but it was just so fucking horrible to know that you were like that and even though my best friend was there for me (thanks universe for putting her in my life), no one else was and i don’t know. Life sucks.
p.d. It would have been my 19th birthday though, but Germany was in the final of the World Cup and it was like one of the best presents ever.
I think this is the only thing I’m proud of. Somehow I managed to learn english on my own. I’ve never had the change to go to an institute or study the language with a teacher, but with time, patience and being persistent I learned most of it. I started when I was around 12 years old with Jonas Brothers’ songs, and I kept learning with songs, tv shows and using my logic to connect dots and understand some grammar stuff. Of course I still need to learn a lot, but now I can read books in english, watch movies or tv shows without subtitles, and everything feels like it’s in spanish. I talk in english with friends everyday and I don’t even need to “translate” what I want to say, my head just thinks in that language. And it makes me so proud, because you have no idea how much effort I put on it, and how hard I worked on that, and people have mocked me, because yes, of course, their parents have paid for their english classes while all I had was the internet and myself. So yeah, make fun of me all you want. I don’t even care now, I’m proud of myself.
Well, that never happened to me, actually. I’ve been in love only once in my life, and I knew I was in love. And I’ll be 90 years old and I will still know it was love. I can recognize when it’s love, and when it’s a dumb crush. And I’ve been having a lot of those dumb crushes lately, they want to make you feel you are in love, when you are just kinda obsessed (at least that’s what happens to me), so I’m going to talk about one of those guys because it was a huge crush and I’m still pissed at him. I have this friend, or at least we used to be friends, for like 4 or 5 years? maybe more, and he lives in other country, but I still couldn’t help having a crush on him, and after some stuff we did, he got what he wanted and disappeared, I mean, we used to message each other everyday and after that he fucking disappeared and we never talked again, and that’s how I realized he was one of the hugest douchebags I’ve ever met. Danke.
I think it was my 17th birthday. It was really good because I used to have this group of friends, and with them and my ex boyfriend we went to have lunch after school and it was the super fun and lovely. Then I spent the whole day with my ex & family and the next day we went to see The Amazing Spider-Man 1, and yeah, that was probably my best birthday ever.
My biggest insecurity is not being able to achieve my goals, and it’s something that I’m hugely struggling with these days. I’m always scared of not having the tools and the brains to be what I want to be, and it’s killing me all the time. Like all the time. You have no idea how many times I’ve considered suicide and wondered if it’s really worth living life and putting so much effort on something I’m not sure I’ll be able to get. It’s… I don’t know. Kinda silly, but awful. I’m scared of not being able to do what I want and love, and it’s lame because that fear is the only thing that’s holding my back, but I don’t know how to be scared and I worry about that. I’m so dumb.
I don’t have someone I want to be friends with, not like “hey, i wanna be anacleta’s friend so bad”, but more like I’d really love to have this kind of friendship where if I’m bored I can’t text my friend like “yo dude, i’m bored, tell me some nice stuff” and we have deep and meaningful talks about the most random shit, and I’m feel confident to tell that person my problems and we go out often and I don’t know, those friendships you see in movies and tv shows .
Well, this is a funny thing considering how much I’ve been thiking about death recently. I think death is… calm. Death isn’t the end, I’m kinda sure about it, there must be something after that. But I feel like there’s calmness when you die. All your problems, concerns, worries, they just aren’t there anymore. But I don’t know, maybe I’m just thinking about it in that way because I’ve been putting myself under stress lately.
Thank you so much for the numbers! <3
i feel like in the end i deserve an award for all the bad decisions i’ve made, and i will keep making in my life